More insanity then you can possibly comprehend
by Slayer Ignatius
Summary: My first fic confusing and abusing of authors ressurective power to the max read and review
1. The insanity begins.......

FF7: more insanity then you could possibly comprehend  
  
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Notes: aye FF7 characters belong to squaresoft. the MHC/HMC isnt copyrighted but if you dare take our idea Me,Therius,Hostiledude and Cecil will hunt you down and bite you  
  
Sincerely:High mage imperial overlord Ignatius slayer of the HMC and high ranking official over all  
  
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CH.1  
  
Cloud,Sephiroth,Vincent,Barret and Cid sit around the T.V. all staring at their own images fighting.  
  
Cloud: Ha Sephiroth were kicking your @$$  
  
Sephiroth: 4 against 1 is sooo cheap  
  
Vincent: ooo ooo look im changing into Chaos!!!!!  
  
Barret : !@#$% fool not bringing me too  
  
Cid: yeah you !@$%^& you left the 2 best characters out!!!  
  
Yuffie : *walking in* hey there i am  
  
Cloud: yep i picked you  
  
Yuffie: *sitting down* aww you shouldnt have  
  
Cid: $^^%& right he shouldnt have  
  
Yuffie: be quiet you old geyser  
  
Cid: Hey just because you are *just old enough to drive the buggy doesn't make me old you theiving little brat  
  
Aeris:*from kitchen* HEY YOU WENCH IF CLOUD WOULD HAVE CHOSEN YOU WHY DID HE CRY AFTER I DIED  
  
Tifa: *from kitchen* HE CRIED BECAUSE OF JOY YOU STUPID PREP  
  
Cloud: oh god here we go again  
  
Tifa:*walking out of kitchen* who's the freaking idiot that revived her any ways?  
  
Ignatius:*comes down in a ray of light* hey are you attempting to insult the MHC?  
  
Tifa: what if i am?  
  
Ignatius: * grabs her hand and they both disappear sounds of struggle are heard and a box appears in Clouds Inventory *  
  
Cloud: whats in here? *cringes* god did you have to transport her to me? and besides how the hell will the fanfic go on without the hot girl wearing the tight clothes  
  
Cid: *staring at the tv now controlling the psx* you mean Tifa?  
  
Cloud: yeah thats her name  
  
Ignatius: i refuse to use my authorey powers to revive anyone more than aeris  
  
Cloud: you can play the psx......  
  
Ignatius:*grabbing paddle from Cid* you got yourself a deal  
  
Tifa: hey what the #$%^ just happened  
  
Cloud: be humble he brought you back  
  
Ignatius: lets see you take this safer sephiroth......  
  
Yuffie: ok my turn!  
  
Ignatius:*raises hand and Yuffie incinerates*  
  
Cid: hey i had a crush on her you @#$%  
  
Ignatius: * still staring at screen* fine *Yuffie reappears  
  
Aeris:*from kitchen* foods done!  
  
* Ignatius takes his leave*  
  
Sephiroth:*gets up to get some food* im going to get some doom er food food yes thats what i meant*walks toward the kitchen*  
  
Cloud: wait a sec.......I get the strange feeling your not telling us something.........wait.......did you get a haircut?  
  
Sephiroth: yes......a haircut *enters the kitchen smirking*  
  
* a loud bang is heard in the kitchen everyone runs in and Sephiroth's masamune is stuck in the ceiling*  
  
Sephiroth: argh damned low ceiling  
  
Aeris:*huddled in corner* dont kill me.......  
  
Cloud: hrm whats going on????  
  
Sephiroth: hrm the ceilings too low i'll fix that *casts quake3 the earth shakes and the ceiling collapses crushing aeris in the process*  
  
Cloud: hey what happened to the chick that cooks???  
  
Ignatius:*booming voice* #$#& Sephiroth if i have to do this again im goin to slaughter you!!!! *ceiling raises and fixes itself Aeris' bloody corpse heals and becomes animated*  
  
Cloud:*not paying attention* #$%$ microwave give me back my Cheese!!!!! haaaaa OMNISLASH *slashes the microwave into ribbons*  
  
Sephiroth: hrm *walks out the house catching cid who's still on the psx with the rather large blade and taking his head off*  
  
Ignatius: GOD &^%^$ IT!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: *turns realizing what hes done and begins fleeing for his life large sweat drop on face* IM SORRY!!!!!!!!!  
  
END chapter 1  
  
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Hey my first fic howed you like the first chapter *exaggerated pause as if he thinks you are going to say to your computer it was great write more* thats great im glad you think so. well i will finish the second chapter soon but until then check out some of hostiledudes fics they rule!  
  
Sincerely(yeah right) Ignatius/Burninwulf/Blakrex 


	2. The insanity continues

More Insanity then you can possibly comprehend CH.2  
  
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Notes: Aye this is Ignatius of the HMC and I am proud to present the second part of my fanfic as always the HMC isnt copyrighted but if you dare copy it we will hunt you down and incinerate you to your very core FF7 characters belong to squaresoft an im sure theyed assign a similar punishment  
  
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*Cloud and the others have finally sat down for dinner Sephiroth has mystereously vanished but no one really cares Vincent has decided to have a crush on Yuffie and he and Cid are now arguing over it over all a normal dinner*  
  
Cid: I met her first !!!!!!  
  
Vincent: *leaning on table* well we were both the last to be found on your journey!!!!!  
  
Cid: screw that! *reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the Venus gospel*  
  
Vincent: you want a fight you old man! * draws Death penalty also from his back pocket*  
  
Cid: i do believe your older then me Vince  
  
Vincent: ARGH no no no i was in a state of complete inanimation i didnt age so im NOT older than you  
  
Cid: who gives a hell lets just fight *lunges at vincent who then runs out of the kitchen Cid follows*  
  
Cloud: this happens every night i swear  
  
Sephiroth: *suddenly appearing* WHAT THE %^&& just happened to me  
  
Ignatius: i brought you back due to popular demand i also chose to bring back cait sith and Red XII because of different reasons  
  
Cloud: hey its the cat and the other bigger redder thingy!  
  
Red: yes he brought us back  
  
Cait: net due to popular demand on account a that neither of us is popular  
  
Red: i was popular you fool  
  
Cait: im leaving again not as if i dont have a life  
  
Cloud: *gets up puts more cheese in the microwave*  
  
Tifa : uh Cloud remember the microwave is broken  
  
Cloud: no its not see *turns the pile of scrap metal on*  
  
Cloud: AAARRRGGGG * radioactive energy swarms from the microwave turning clouds smoking corpse green*  
  
Ignatius: GOD FREAKING %&(# IT YOU PEOPLE DIE EVEN WHEN THERE ISNT A FIGHT *raises cloud from the dead*  
  
*suddenly Cids spear flies through the wall bringing a piece of Vincents spine with it*  
  
Ignatius: ARRGGGGHHHH  
  
Ignatius: IF I HAVE TO RESSURECT ONE MORE OF YOU YOU WILL SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS THE CAT AND THE MOG WHO YOU THOUGHT LEFT BUT DIDNT BESIDES I DECIDED TO USE THEM IN THIS SENTENCE!!!!!  
  
*brings up cait sith and the mogs heads then drops them in clouds cheese*  
  
Cloud: NOOOOO NOT THE CHEESE!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: Cloud just drop it cheese is cheese and thats all youve eaten for the last 2 chapters  
  
Cloud: *crying over the cheese* WHYYYYYYY??? WHY DID YOU TAKE THE CHEESE!!!?  
  
Ignatius: *calming down* *mutters a few words the heads float from the cheese Vincents spine comes back out of the wall and he becomes reanimated*  
  
Ignatius: *takes his leave*  
  
Aeris: *relizing she has said nothing for the entire fic* lets go to the store  
  
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I think i will end the chapter here the insanity is continuing to grow  
  
Oh and Yes Vincents spine was sent through the wall. I did blow them all up in the end and ended up yet again ressurecting them for the next chapter  
  
Sincerely:(or not) Burninwul/Ignatius/Blakrex 


	3. WHY HASNT THE AUTHOR GOTTEN A HINT YET??...

FF7:More insanity then you can possibly comprehend  
  
Ch.2: why hasnt the author got a hint yet???!!  
  
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Aye! FF7 belongs to squaresof whilst HMC if mentioned belongs to US as in me therius hostiledude and cecil and if you steal it we will take your pants and use them to break your window!  
  
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*Aeris Cloud Sephiroth Yuffie Cid RedXII Vincent and Tifa all decided to go to the store after the days not at all sane happenings*  
  
Cloud: hrm were here *climbs out of the buggy*  
  
*Everyone gets out of the buggy and walks towards the wal-mart but as they enter*  
  
Clerk: Hello im sorry but no weapons are allowed in the store *points to the gangs oversized assortment of weapons*  
  
Barret: what the #$%^ look its not a gun its my arm  
  
Clerk: Then you'll have to wait outside sir  
  
Sephiroth: Errrr your beggining to piss me off *walks out of store with barret and the gangs weapons*  
  
as they walk through the store they go by the electronics section  
  
Cloud: hey imagine what i could do with one of these!! *picks up a cam corder*  
  
*Clouds imagination* Cloud walks into the house wearing a derby and having a big black mustach  
  
Cloud: Honey's my boss is coming over is dinner done????  
  
Tifa: *from somewhere in house* no were still doing the laundry!  
  
Cloud: MOMMA MIA!!!! now i will have to do it!  
  
Cloud walks across the living room and puts some ham into the strategically placed stove which then explodes  
  
Cloud: MOMMA MIA!!!!!! oh no!!!  
  
Barret:*wearing a sash that says the BOSS* STRIFE YOUR FIRED!!!!!!!!  
  
*Real world during flash*  
  
Aeris: Cloud??? Cloud????  
  
Cid: I think hes brain dead  
  
*Cloud standing with hand on his chin staring at the camera*  
  
Red: Hrm I know........ CLOUD QUICK TIFAS STRIPPING!!!!!!  
  
*Cloud and half the store all stop what theyre doing and stare at Tifa and Red*  
  
Cloud: HRM WHAT WHERE!!!!!!!?????  
  
Cid: my god man you nearly gave me a heart attack Red I thought my fondest wishes had come true  
  
Tifa: ERRRR KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Cid Red and Cloud suddenly dissapear into a void of darkness screams of pain are heard avery few seconds as some new torture hits Cloud Red and Cid suddenly reality breaks and they both appear slashed and beaten*  
  
Cid: owwww  
  
Red: *Lying on his back* argh ditto  
  
Cloud: The pain the inhumanity  
  
*Ignatius appears smacks Cloud for trying to sound intelligent*  
  
Cloud: havent i been Inhumanely tortured enough???  
  
*Ignatius appears and punches Cloud again*  
  
Cloud :fine ill stop tryin to sound smart  
  
*Suddenly for no reason Ignatius Cecil Hostiledude and Therius walk by*  
  
Hostiledude: GYA HA HA HA HA  
  
Therius: where are the swords now.........  
  
Cecil: time for plan 4X09  
  
Ignatius: AYE!!!!!!! 4XO9 for those of you who dont know us it is where Cecil gets together a bunch of money and pays a girl to strip for him  
  
*everyone walks away*  
  
Cloud:OK lets begon before amazing amounts of incredibly unintellible people try running in screaming incoherent messages with luminescant attitudes  
  
*Ignatius runs back down the isle and begins beating the hell out of cloud then dissapears*  
  
Cloud: lets see how Sephy and Cid are doing  
  
*everyone begins walking towards the exit to the store loud gunshots are heard and they see barret carrying the death penalty and sephiroth playing with Ultima weapon*  
  
Sephiroth: hey look im Cloud im powerful cause my vocabulary is badder than yours  
  
Cloud: Hey!!!!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: *looks at cloud then back at the ultima weapon then grins and runs off*  
  
Barret: I was just tryin it on heh............  
  
Vincent:*grabs it from him and proceeds to spin and holster it*  
  
Cloud: Think we should get Sephy's sword for him?  
  
Tifa: naw he leaves it all over the place and always has it next chapter  
  
*everyone climbs in the buggy on their way to Mcchocobos*  
  
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Ignatius Aye that fanfic is coming along nicely isnt it (Another long pause waiting for a response) good to hear you say so! i will write more ! 


	4. No need for ressurection

FF7: More insanity then you can possibly comprehend  
  
CH.4 No need for ressurection  
  
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notes:FF7 and its characters are property of squaresoft whilst HMC is OURS so if you dare copy it we will HURT YOU BADLY  
  
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*Cloud Sephiroth and the rest of the gang had just finished shopping now they were heading to MChocobos on arrival they get out of the car Aeris Sephiroth and Cid immediately run inside*  
  
Yuffie: hey we're here!!!  
  
Cloud: *finishing a conversation with barret* and thats how they removed my brain tumor at the optomotrist  
  
Barret: so lemme get his straight they removed you tumor at te eye doctor?  
  
Cloud: yup cant even tell though they did say something about 1/2 eye que or something like that but of course theyed be talking about eyes  
  
Barret: you know Cloud your a moron  
  
Vincent: can we please get some food??????  
  
Tifa: hey wheres Sephiroth and Aeris???  
  
*the gang walks inside in search of the others and they find Cid Sephiroth and Yuffie standing next to a MCfried corpse that can only be Aeris*  
  
Cloud: NOOOOOO who could have done this!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: Cloud i know we all cared for her.......  
  
Cloud: Theres a corpse in the CHEESE!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: *smacks cloud for being an utter moron*  
  
Red: who did this??????  
  
Cloud: only 1 person could have done this.........Yuffe!!!! you always held a grudge against her didnt you????!  
  
*Tifa Barret and Yuffie all take this chance to smack Cloud*  
  
Yuffie: I have an alias!!!I was um........ oh yeah heres what happened  
  
*Yuffies Imaginations*  
  
Cloud: OOOOO look at all this materia i have isnt it a lot and its worth sooooo much money Yuffie cant have ne so there!  
  
Yuffie:*dressed in rags* Why cant you give me some Gil at least please?????  
  
Barret: I pity the foo i do i do i pity da foo  
  
Yuffie: Ok i have to um use the bathroom  
  
*Yuffie walks off comes back and sneaks behind Cloud trying to borrow some of his materia*  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Cloud: so Yuffie couldnt have because she was trying to steal me materia  
  
Yuffie: BORROW steal is such a harshe word  
  
Cloud: ok Cid whats your alaby  
  
Cid: well.........  
  
*Cids imagination*  
  
Tifa: ooohhhh Cid your soo hot!  
  
Aeris: we all love you Cid  
  
Yuffie: Ive always loved you Cid  
  
Cid:Ok girls but i have to go and get some food  
  
Girls: We'll miss you Cid........  
  
Cid *walks into the restaurant and all the pretty girls are winking at him*  
  
Cid: Ok i want 2 shakes a fry and a Choconuggets  
  
Hot woman clerk: ok thatll be nothing since your so nice  
  
Cid:thank you goodbye  
  
*end Cids flashback*  
  
Cloud: so Cid was gettign the crap kicked out of him by a bunch of girls who though he was an ugly *&%$$% then he stole some food from the pickup line  
  
Cloud: Ok well that leaves sephiroth.......  
  
Sephiroth: hrm heres what REALLY happened  
  
*Sephiroths imagination*  
  
Sephiroth: I will destroy you!!!!!! *Changes to safer Sephiroth*  
  
Cloud: NYAAAAA we will see NYAAAAA  
  
*sephiroth cuts Cloud and the party to little pices then fuses with the planet and................*  
  
*End sephiroth imagination*  
  
Cloud: i mean about what happened to Aeris  
  
Sephiroth: oh i killed her  
  
Cloud: How could this be Sephiroth my mentor and friend?????!!!!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: Come on not like anyone will miss her youve got the girl in the tight clothes  
  
Tifa: MY NAME IS TIFA  
  
Sephiroth: The old Guy has the brat  
  
Cid: Its CID you *&()**&  
  
Yuffie: and YUFFIE  
  
Sephiroth: and the vampire has the creepy girl in the waterfall  
  
Vincent: um I am Vincent and she is Lucrecia  
  
Sephiroth: and the lion thing has whatever the hell he mated with before the end cinema  
  
Red: I am Nanaki and she is................  
  
Sephiroth: *interrupting* my point is that she will not be missed  
  
Cloud: your right lets just eat and leave  
  
*Everyone eats then they climb into the buggy and leave with the corpse still on the grill and the police line in their way*  
  
Ed: My favorite part is when the giant cyclops eats the furry jawbreaker that smelled of MEATBALLS!  
  
Edd: Ed i do believe this is the wrong time place fic and subject not to mention the fact that.......  
  
Eddy:Jawbreaker time  
  
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Afterthoughts: OK this is the end of my first fic Insane i know but i dedicate the cameo of ed edd and eddy to Cecil and Hostiledude who seem to enjoy the show and the fact that the evil person won to Therius  
  
Sincerely:(really im not sincere about this) Burninwulf/Ignatius/Blakrex 


End file.
